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Ask Your Mom

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well,...

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I’m Ok Dr

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so...

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Who’s Stupid?

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So,...

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I Have to be Honest

A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as the guy makes his move."I`m a hooker". The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it. He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it. After they finish,...

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Drug Store

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks, "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady says, "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason," says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and...

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Driver Just Insulted Me!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell...

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Carrot Ice Cream

Cute little bunny comes in a pharmacy and asks if they have carrot ice cream. “No. This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell ice cream.” Bunny leaves. But it comes back the next day and again asks, “Do you have carrot ice cream?” “No, Bunny! This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell...

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Sleeping Problem

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?” Doctor: “Every two hours.”

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