jokes.cc.com Menu

jokes.cc.com

  • CC Home
  • Shows
    • South Park
    • BoJack Horseman
    • Broad City
    • Corporate
    • Desi Lydic: Abroad
    • Drunk History
    • Detroiters
    • Inside Amy Schumer
    • Key & Peele

    See all Shows

  • Full Episodes
  • Stand-Up
  • Short Form
  • App
  • TV Provider Sign Out
  • facebooktwittertumblrinstagram

Menu

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Stand-Up
  • Records
  • all categories
  • Food
  • A 70s Cookie Band

  • A Blonde & Her Thermos

  • A Happy Meal

  • A Life of Crime

  • A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker

  • A.J. Jamal: Good Place to Eat

  • A.J. Jamal: Los Angeles Homeless

  • A.J. Jamal: Worshipped Animals

  • Al Clethen Jr.: Catholic Dad, Baptist Mom

  • Allen Edge: Burglars

  • Amy Schumer: Baby Safety Ads

  • Amy Schumer: False Advertising

  • Andrew Norelli: Wrong Time to Worry

  • Andy Borowitz: McDonald’s Express

  • Animal Rotation

  • Anthony Jeselnik: Addict Girlfriend

  • Ants Dancing

  • Apple & Worm

  • Arj Barker: Central Park Ice Cream

  • Arj Barker: Have Fun Trick-or-Treating, Son

  • Arj Barker: Health Food Halloween Pranks

  • Arj Barker: Hungry Jack’s Restaurant

  • Arj Barker: No Razors in Halloween Candy

  • Aron Kader: Anti-American in the Middle East

  • Aziz Ansari: Cold Stone Creamery

  • Barry Marder: New Slim-Fast Slogan

  • Barry Marder: Sensible Diet

  • Barry Sobel: Airport Food

  • Beans & Onions

  • Beer Nuts vs. Deer Nuts

  • Bell Tower

  • Ben Bailey: Restaurant Waiting Area

  • Ben Kronberg: How I Like My Coffee

  • Ben Kronberg: Low Carb Bakery

  • Bill Coronel: Dog Food Guideline

  • Bill Kirchenbauer: Sea World Seafood

  • Bill Santiago: Puerto Rican Food

  • Blonde & Pizza

  • Blonde in a Library

  • Blonde Meets Cheerios

  • Blonde Waitress Warmer

  • Blondes & Pickles

  • Bob Marley: Atkins Diet

  • Bob Marley: Chips and Dip

  • Bob Marley: Failing the Atkins Diet

  • Bob Marley: Friendly Waiters

  • Bob Marley: Great Thing About Marriage

  • Bob Marley: Nacho Type

  • Bob Marley: Pizza Delivery Method

  • Bob Marley: Pizza Talk

  • Bob Marley: Tourette Nacho Syndrome

  • Bob Marley: Waiter Service

  • Bob Marley: Waiting on Pizza Delivery

  • Bob Nickman: Sizzler Cheater

  • Boris Hamilton: Personal Challenge

  • Brave Pig With the Peg Leg

  • Brett Butler: Lobster Again?

  • Brian Keith Etheridge: Bumming Food

  • Brian Posehn: Only One Crazy Guy

  • Brian Posehn: Quitting Meat

  • Brian Regan: Fig Newtons

  • Brian Regan: Food Combinations

  • Brian Regan: Lay Off the Dairy

  • Brian Regan: Microwaving Pop Tarts

  • Brian Regan: Real Italian Food World

  • Brian Regan: Serving Size

  • Bruce Baum: Jeffrey Dahmer

  • Butcher Booty Call… Meat

  • Butcher Booty Call… Sausage

  • Carb Chat

  • Carlos Mencia: Not So Different

  • Carol Leifer: British Money

  • Chad Daniels: My Wife’s Friends

  • Cheese

  • Chef Clown

  • Chelsea Handler: My First Midget

  • Chocolate Plus Viagra

  • Chris Rock: Invading a Country with Oil

  • Chris Zito: Harassing Burger King Employees

  • Cindy Eaton: Celebrity Candy Bar

  • Classic Booty Call… Meat

  • Classic Booty Call… Raisins

  • Clinton Jackson: Energy Drinks

  • Cory Kahaney: Handling Halloween

  • Cory Kahaney: Meeting Guys in Bars

  • Cory Kahaney: Save the Children

  • Cross the Road… Fat Turkey

  • Damon Wayans: Fasting

  • Damon Wayans: Hollywood Changes People

  • Dan Allen: Vegan Ex-Girlfriend

  • Dan Cummins: Not Vegetarian

  • Dan Devido: Joe Franklin Sandwich

  • Dan Mintz: Ordering for the Woman

  • Dan Rosen: America Sends Food

  • Dana Gould: Hungry Daughter

  • Dana Gould: Uncomfortable in Restaurants

  • Daniel Tosh: Dad’s Breakfast Talk

  • Daniel Tosh: Tastes Like Ethnicity

  • Daniel Tosh: Who Sinned First

  • Darrell Hammond: Back in New York

  • Dave Nystrom: Drunk in the Middle of the Day

  • David Cross: Delicious Ugly Animals

  • David Cross: Intelligent Dolphins

  • David Feldman: Dolphin Intelligence

  • David Feldman: On Cannibalism

  • Dead in His Cornflakes

  • Demetri Martin: Fruit Baskets

  • Demetri Martin: Naming Foods

  • Demetri Martin: Neighborhood Diner

  • Demetri Martin: Rice Milk

  • Denis Leary: Airplane Eaters

  • Denis Leary: Obesity Statistics

  • Denis Leary: Resuming Air Travel

  • DL Hughley: Pretty Women Can’t Cook

  • Dom Irrera: Need a Cookie

  • Don’t Play with Your Food

  • Donald Glover: Kix Cereal

  • Donkey-Onion Hybrid

  • Dov Davidoff: Try Lamb Skin

  • Dwayne Perkins: Keep the Date Cheap

  • Dwayne Perkins: Not Going Dutch

  • Dwayne Perkins: The Expensive Page

  • Earthquake: Little Stuff, Little Jail Time

  • Earthquake: Noah Was Not Black

  • Eating Cake Lately?

  • Eating Right

  • Elevator Shoes

  • Empty Cheez Whiz

  • Eric Kirchberger: Evolution Problem

  • Eugene Mirman: Helping the Homeless

  • Fabrice Fabrice – Olive Garden

  • Fabrice Fabrice: Fried Chicken

  • Fired From the Poultry Shop

  • Fly in My Soup

  • Fly, Soup, the Usual

  • Forget About It

  • Frank Prinzi: Love Grape Nuts

  • Frank Prinzi: Simplest Things Make Me Happy

  • Frank Prinzi: Trouble Sleeping

  • Funny Apple

  • Gabriel Iglesias: First Thing That Comes to Mind

  • Gabriel Rutledge: Delivery Guy

  • Gene Pompa: Go Ahead

  • Gene Pompa: Hardcore Political Activist

  • Got Nuts?

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Boil

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Compliments

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Cream

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Crudite

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Cucumber

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Eating Out

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Infusion

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Knife

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Lick

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Marinate

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Meat

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Rise

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Sous Chef

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Stuffing

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Temperature

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Toast

  • Gourmet Booty Call… Whisk

  • Greg Behrendt: For Cake

  • Greg Behrendt: Halloween Rules

  • Greg Giraldo: Edible Underwear

  • Greg Giraldo: Obese American Adults

  • Greg Proops: Animal Functions

  • Hannibal Buress: Believe in Yourself

  • Hannibal Buress: Praying for You

  • Hannibal Buress: Want a Cookie?

  • Hari Kondabolu: Love Chocolate

  • Hari Kondabolu: Vegan Soul Food

  • Hari Kondabolu: Vegan Thanksgiving

  • Hari Kondabolu: White Chocolate

  • Harland Williams: Barbecue Recipe

  • Harland Williams: Can’t Sleep

  • Harland Williams: No Airbag

  • Harland Williams: No Vehicle, No Service

  • Harland Williams: Pillsbury Doughboy Government Secret

  • Harland Williams: Stuffing the Mattress

  • I Don’t Like My Brother

  • Irish Eats Italian

  • Jackie Kashian: Of Course You’ll Want Cake

  • Jake Johannsen: Chinese Food

  • James Davis: McDonald’s Breakfast End Time

  • Jamie Kennedy: New York Pizza

  • Jamie Kennedy: The Eucharist

  • Janeane Garofalo: Cake in the House

  • Janeane Garofalo: Grapefruit and Tumors

  • JB Smoove: Bad Chicken

  • Jeff Dunham: Being Overeager with Frozen Drinks and Marriage

  • Jeff Dunham: How Women Age

  • Jeff Dunham: Meat Thermometer Tip

  • Jeff Garcia: Picking a Fight With America

  • Jeff Mac: Baseball’s Best Burger

  • Jen Kirkman: Weight Gain

  • Jesse Popp: Cooking

  • Jessi Klein: Hanukkah Tradition

  • Jim Gaffigan: Bologna

  • Jim Gaffigan: Seafood is Disgusting

  • Jim Gaffigan: Why Don’t You Drink?

  • Jimmie Roulette: Dumb Animals

  • Jimmy Carr: Sense of Taste

  • Jodie Wasserman: Not Pregnant

  • Joe Starr: Perfect Weight

  • Joey Kola: Don’t Want to Lose Weight

  • Joey Kola: My Wife’s Shopping Skills

  • Joey Kola: Six-Year-Old Son

  • Joey Vega: The Wait to Go Swimming

  • John Caparulo: Fat Customer in a Sandwich Shop

  • John Ferrentino: Watching “Alive”

  • John Mendoza: In Denny’s on Your Birthday

  • John Oliver: Gastronomic Evolution

  • John Oliver: New Boston Tea Party

  • John Pinette: Chinese Food

  • John Pinette: Health Food

  • John Ridley: Indian Restaurants

  • Jon Dore: Died of Hunger

  • Jon Dore: Hiding From the Nazis

  • Jon Manfrellotti: Eating the Fake Food

  • Jon Reep: A Good Ol’ Metrosexual Boy

  • Jonah Ray: Facebook Foodie

  • Jordan Rubin: Vegetarian

  • Josh Sneed: Children’s Food Toys

  • Judy Gold: Selling Candy for Band Trips

  • Kelly MacFarland: Salad Time

  • Kevin Kataoka: Pay Toilets

  • Kevin Meaney: Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Knock, Knock… Banana

  • Kyle Grooms: Good Cookies

  • Kyle Kinane: Cheddar Bay Biscuits Fan

  • Larry the Cable Guy: Fishing While Hammered

  • Laura House: Stripping in Russia

  • Laura Kightlinger: Answering the Door

  • Lauren Dombrowski: Holidays Are Important

  • Lawyers Love Sushi

  • Leo Allen: Another Saying

  • Leo Allen: Hating Vegans

  • Leo Allen: If Animals Could Talk

  • Lewis Black: All the Candy Corn Ever Made

  • Lewis Black: The International House of Pancakes

  • Lisa Gopman: Eating Disorder

  • Lisa Gopman: Hungry in L.A.

  • Lisa Landry: On Southern Fried Foods

  • Lizz Winstead: Bran-Eating Roommate

  • Lizz Winstead: Compassionate Conservative

  • Lizz Winstead: Potato Chip Technology

  • Loni Love: Jesus Sighting

  • Loni Love: On Condoleezza Rice

  • Louis C.K.: One of Those Lucky People

  • Louis Ramey: Cover You in Honey

  • Louis Ramey: Not on the Menu

  • Lynne Koplitz: Insulted by a Homeless Guy

  • Lynne Koplitz: Manhattan Children

  • Lynne Koplitz: Size Zero Roommate

  • Mad Cow Concern

  • Marc Maron: Ice Cream Flavors

  • Maria Bamford: 30 Ways to Shape Up

  • Maria Bamford: I Speak Tiger

  • Maria Bamford: Ordering Coffee

  • Maria Bamford: Pie Hole

  • Maria Bamford: Political Aspirations

  • Marina Franklin: White People in Harlem

  • Mark Curry: Fun at Fashion Shows

  • Mark Curry: Mad Models

  • Mark Schiff: Always Want a Bite

  • Mark Schiff: Dieting

  • Marta Ravin: Work-Related Medical Condition

  • Matt Braunger: Cadbury Cream Eggs

  • Matt Braunger: Cadbury Creme Eggs

  • Matt Braunger: Recent Weight Loss

  • Medieval Booty Call… Food

  • Michael Kosta: Definition of Vegan

  • Michael Kosta: Prefer Anorexics

  • Michael Kosta: Sex With a Vegan

  • Michael Palascak: Hybrid SUVs

  • Mike Birbiglia: Pick Up Some Donut Language

  • Mike Birbiglia: Sex and Pizza

  • Mike Lawrence: Child of Divorce

  • Mike Lawrence: My Vietnam

  • Mike Sweeney: Mexican Explosion

  • Mitch Hedberg: Baked Potato

  • Mitch Hedberg: Butter vs. Margarine

  • Mitch Hedberg: Buying Doughnuts

  • Mitch Hedberg: Candle Holder

  • Mitch Hedberg: Cinnamon Roll Incense

  • Mitch Hedberg: Instant Oatmeal

  • Mitch Hedberg: Kit-Kats

  • Mitch Hedberg: Mitch’s Pizzeria

  • Mitch Hedberg: Pissed Off at Turkeys

  • Mitch Hedberg: Please Try Again

  • Mitch Hedberg: Pringles’ Intention

  • Mitch Hedberg: Rotisserie Chicken

  • Mitch Hedberg: Subway’s Duck Policy

  • Modern Science

  • Muffin Chat

  • Myq Kaplan: Being a Vegetarian

  • Myq Kaplan: Fighting Magneto

  • Natasha Leggero: Sex With a Prostitute

  • Natasha Leggero: Woman Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant

  • Nick DiPaolo: Keeping the Weight Down

  • Nick DiPaolo: Uncut Pizza

  • Nick Kroll: Cheesecake Factory

  • Nick Swardson: Taco Bell Employee Perks

  • Nick Turner: Eating Pizza

  • Norm MacDonald: Cat Food Commercial

  • One-Legged People

  • Oops Banana

  • Oppressive Potato

  • Orange

  • Panda Booty Call… Eat

  • Pat Hazell: Four-Pack of Toilet Paper

  • Patrice O’Neal: The Mystery of the Thousand-Pound Man

  • Patton Oswalt: Suicide Pinata

  • Paul F. Tompkins: Self-conscious About Appearance

  • Paul Mooney: Before Jeffrey Dahmer

  • Paul Provenza: Airline Peanuts

  • Pea Soup vs. Roast Beef

  • Peanut Butter Rooster

  • Pete Holmes: Burger King God

  • Pete Holmes: Hey! You Make a Movie!

  • Pete Holmes: Things Adults Can Do, Part Two

  • Pete Holmes: Wall Drug: The Oldest Drug Store in America

  • Pregnant Dairy Queen

  • Rene Hicks: Celibates and Vegetarians

  • Retta: Customer Service in NYC

  • Retta: Nondairy Creamer

  • Retta: Two Words That Shouldn’t Describe the Same Product

  • Richard Jeni: Cooking Shows

  • Richard Jeni: Lobster Tank

  • Richard Jeni: Lobsters Flown In

  • Richard Lewis: Life Is Food

  • Richard Trask: Neighborhood Fast Food Places

  • Rick Corso: Mozzarella Sticks

  • Rick Gutierrez: Fat Epidemic

  • Robert Hawkins: The Problem With Kids Today

  • Robert Kelly: Applebee’s Desserts

  • Robert Kelly: Love the Applebee’s

  • Robin Montague: Backwards in Hollywood

  • Robin Montague: Models Can’t Eat

  • Roger Rittenhouse: Bungee Jumping

  • Roger Rittenhouse: Don’t Eat Right

  • Ron White: Helping the Planet

  • Ronald McDonald in a Nudist Colony

  • Rooster and Lollipop

  • Rory Albanese: Junk Food Binge

  • Rory Albanese: London McDonald’s

  • Ross Shafer: Men Are Simple

  • Rug

  • Russ Meneve: Pizza Delivery Porn

  • Rusty Ward: Obsessed With Food

  • Ryan Stout: If Animals Could Talk

  • Sabrina Matthews: Diet Pills

  • Sabrina Matthews: Ice Cream Power

  • Sabrina Matthews: SAT Words

  • Sarah Colonna: Finer Things in Life

  • Sausage Roll

  • Scott Kennedy: Big Boys Can Cook

  • Scott LaRose: Heavy Chocolate

  • Sean Morey: Bad Waiters

  • Sebastian Maniscalco: Lemon Loaf

  • Sebastian Maniscalco: Sushi Dinner Date

  • Sex Over-Easy

  • Shane Mauss: Pineapple Juice

  • Shane Mauss: Tastes Just Like Chicken

  • Sheik That Rooster

  • Sheng Wang: Ahead of Its Time

  • Sheng Wang: Crazy Crab’z

  • Sheng Wang: Diamonds Are Forever

  • Sheng Wang: Eating a Pomegranate

  • Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over

  • Sheng Wang: The Munchies

  • Shirley Hemphill: No Kinky Food Stuff

  • Shrooming

  • Skeleton

  • Steak and Sex

  • Sue Murphy: Oven Mitts

  • Surrealists & Light Bulbs

  • Tammy Pescatelli: Thin Hollywood Actresses

  • Taste It

  • Tasty treat

  • That Damn Ham

  • The Blonde’s Special Order

  • The Butcher’s Wife

  • The Mystery of the Thermos

  • The Sklar Brothers: Crappy Snacks

  • The Sklar Brothers: Snack Cakes

  • Things Never Said by Southerners

  • Tig: In SkyMall Magazine

  • Todd Barry: Italian Food

  • Todd Barry: Owning a Wok

  • Tofu & Dildos

  • Tom Rhodes: English Food

  • Tomato in Training

  • Tony Rock: Whole Other Level

  • Tony Woods: Goldilocks

  • Tracy Smith: The Only Woman on Earth

  • Truck Driver & The Bikers

  • Two pretzels walk into a bar and one is …

  • Two sausages were frying in a pan

  • Under the Apron

  • Vanessa Hollingshead: Shopping for a Little Black Dress

  • Victoria Jackson: Family Restaurant

  • Viking Booty Call… Lips

  • Walks Into a Bar… Cheese Sandwich

  • Walks Into a Bar… Menu

  • Wanda Sykes: Cutting Out Carbs

  • Wanda Sykes: Like Going Out to a Restaurant

  • Wanda Sykes: Nephews

  • Wayne Federman: Likin’ the Bell

  • Wayne Federman: Movie Theater Hot Dog

  • Wendy Liebman: Running When Necessary

  • What did the mother turkey

  • What do you get when you divide …

  • Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

  • Why Coffee Is Better Than Women

  • Why It Sucks to Be an Egg

  • Why So Much Milk?

  • Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Hot Dogs

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Lifeguard

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Bird Seed

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Fork

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Grocery Store

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… KFC

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Cheerios

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Donut Seeds

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Food Stamps

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Juice

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Order in the Court

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Returned Donut

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Ribbed Condom

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Rice

  • Yo’ Mama Is So Ugly… Onions

  • Yo’ Mama’s Cooking… Homeless

  • Yo’ Mama’s Cooking… Prayer

  • You know you drink too much coffee when…

  • You Know You’re Addicted to Coffee When…

Joke Categories

  • Animal

  • Blonde

  • Blue Collar

  • Cross the Road

  • Dark Humor

  • Dirty

  • Doctor

  • Fat

  • Food

  • God

  • Gross

  • Insults

  • Kids

  • Lawyer

  • Little Johnny

  • Lookin’ Good

  • Marriage

  • Men/Women

  • Miscellaneous

  • Money

  • NSFW

  • Nationality

  • News & Politics

  • Partying & Bad Behavior

  • Pick-Up Lines

  • Police & Military

  • Pop Culture & Celebrity

  • School

  • Sports & Athletes

  • Technology

  • Travel & Car

  • Walks into a Bar

  • Work

  • Yo’ Mama

  • Comedy Central
  • The Daily Show
  • Tosh.0
  • South Park
  • Jokes
  • Comedy Central Records
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy/Your CA Privacy Rights
  • Copyright Compliance
  • Closed Captioning Contact
  • Careers
  • Ad Choices

© 2019 Comedy Partners. All Rights Reserved. Comedy Central and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of comedy partners.

Source